there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
