HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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