I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
