remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
