Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
