remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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