Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
