adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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