The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
