my soul wont recognize me after tonight
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
