i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
