He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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