If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you will always have a special place in my vag
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
