it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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