A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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