I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
