He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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