I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
