he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
