Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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