If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
