I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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