you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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