im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Drake has all the answers
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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