last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
