i permit you to call me
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Randomize
