then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i barfeds in our rink
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
wow bdsm is so cute
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
