I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Actions speak louder than pants.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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