I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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