If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
