i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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