***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I fill condoms, not promises.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I need mimosas to revive my soul
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
