i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I love you. Go after that dick
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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