before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
