I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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