The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
