Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
