When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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