i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
