somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
