he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
