Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Randomize
