i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
