***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
