I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
