I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
