Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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