alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
