I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
