Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
