Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
